What do you think is the biggest mistake that leaders make?
Photo of Tim and our son “Neo.”
Sam Deep’s recent blog post enlightened me with his insightful understanding of what I would call true-leadership (highlights and link to read the full article can be found at the bottom of this post).
It opened my eyes to a recent experience I had in the birthing room of a hospital when my wife gave birth to our son “Neo.”
What do you think is the biggest mistake that leaders make?
I look forward to you sharing your personal experience of being a leader and/or follower with your replies and comments.
Here is what I shared in response to Sam’s article:
“Deep and Insightful post Sam thank you.
It may not be a 12th major leadership mistake being similar to “5. Relating to people as objects,” but a distinction I’d like to add in any case.
Making the leadership mistake of…
“Being a Power over others, in place of a power to them”
…Though, I learned profoundly in a hospital birthing room just days ago it’s a mistake that can be made both ways!
As an American now living with my viking-wife on the fjord here in Norway and having just become parents to our son “Neo” provides the setting of my story. At almost 44 years old it certainly is not my first experience with “power over vs. power to” but 5am in a birthing room with my wife and professionals wielding very large needles certainly required me to draw upon all my past experiences with leadership.
Placing the epidural needle into my wife’s spine was not going well as she looked to me at a time when I felt powerless to lead anything but my own hand which must have stroked her head hundreds if not thousands of times by then. She was laying on her side and in ever increasing pain pleading with me to help her understand what the anesthesiologist was doing to her back!
Zero communication from the professionals in the room left me to guessing why the procedure had not been completed yet. After what seemed at least 4 attempts to place the needle into my wife’s spinal fluid failed…my being in the role of being a power to the anesthesiologist flipped when FINALLY she communicated to us that she’d like to “try” the procedure again.
Silly what comes to mind at certain times in our life, all I could think of then was Master Yoda in Star Wars saying to Luke Skywalker “…no try, do or don’t do…”
Applying my vocabulary, understanding and compassion to the situation required that I then and there become the leader of it.
Was I mistaken in my own personal leadership allowing someone to stick large needles into my wife’s back while attempting to lead us as “objects?”
It took me a while to realize it…but ultimately my answer was a resounding “Yes” when I stood up to a professional who had violated our trust.
Is it possible that being a power “over” ourselves is the prerequisite to extending power “to” another?”
What are your thoughts?
I’m looking forward to you sharing your story of leadership experience.
(Sam’s list of the 11 Biggest Mistakes the leaders make is:
- Succumbing to fear.
- Failing to hold people accountable.
- Refusing to learn.
- Not seeing themselves as others do.
- Relating to people as objects.
- Not delegating enough.
- Burying their heads in the sand.
- Valuing “what” over “how.”
- Acting unethically.
- Leading in a spoke network.
- Being a failure-preventer rather than a success-insurer.
I highly recommend reading the full post which can be found at:
http://www.asksamdeep.com/what-is-the-biggest-mistake-that-leaders-make
and the follow up post which can be read at:
http://www.asksamdeep.com/what-are-the-biggest-mistakes-that-leaders-make/ )
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How Tim got started…
I’m successful, working a job 16+ hours a day and getting home about once a month.I’m learning that what I do is not just a job it’s more accurately called “a lifestyle”. And having no real-life of my own other than work is wearing me thin.
18 months later 9/11 happens – I was away from home, too far away from home...
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